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The Timing Of It All: A Holy Conviction

Has God spoken something so clearly that you knew without a doubt that message was for you? I have. God has been speaking this message to me for quite some time. Years in fact.

I would love to say when I first heard God speak this message into my soul I had no hesitation in being completely obedient. I would love to say I completely surrendered to His will. I would love to say I never once questioned what God told me. But, I can’t.

I did question God, because I questioned myself. Did I have the ability to do this? Did I have the knowledge to do this? I certainly had the desire, but is desire enough? What if I fail? What if I succeed? Both of those questions caused the same level of anxiety within me. Then there was the most fearful question of all, what will people think?

I have spent many hours over the years in prayer over His calling on my life and what that looks like. He and I continue to work through my lingering questions as I continue to walk through this process of surrender. He has assured me, I need to do is trust and obey and He will guide me. Sounds like a pretty simple plan, right? Simple, maybe. Easy? Not at all.

God’s call on my life has certainly been a process. He has grown me and stretched me. He has taught me and corrected me. This process has been part of my surrender.

God usually works over time and through a process. We usually have to be pruned and primed for His work. Most of the process is one step at a time.

Dear friends, don’t fall into the trap of allowing the process to become an excuse for procrastination. If I may be honest, disobedience. That is what procrastination is. That is where I have been for so long. I have tip-toed through the process rather than fully surrendering and trusting God to do His work in me in order to fulfill His calling for me. I have reasoned that once I learn this, or master that then I will move forward in the next step.

Can I stop right here and say how grateful I am that God is so very patient with me, and YOU. He has given me so many chances to get it right. Every time I fail in being obedient, He lovingly convicts me and sets me back on a path towards His plan.

Like I said, I have tip-toed through this process. I knew my next step was to turn my blog sight into a fully functioning website. I could no longer hide behind the ambiguous title of my blog page. I had to stand boldly in the position that I was called to.

So, the process started to set up the new website. I found myself struggling with writing the content. I researched other websites. I talked with friends. I received coaching to move forward. I prayed, actually pleaded with God to just “show me” what I needed to write. Nothing. Talk about writer’s block. Frustration was creeping in and doubt was taking over.

I sat at my computer one morning and had a serious talk with God. I asked if I was following His plan or my own. He confirmed this was His plan. I asked Him what He wanted from this website. He answered back deep in my soul, “what is your desire for this website?”. I thought that was an interesting answer to my question. I desired to do His will.

That’s when a revelation hit me. God gives us deep desires and pssions within His calling. So, I lifted up my desires to Him: Lord, I desire to be a tool in Your hand to encourage women to passionately pursue You so that they will come to an understanding of what Your purpose for them is. I want them to have the confidence to stand boldly in Your calling on their life.

Then, the Holy conviction came. I heard a soft whisper in my soul “Are you doing that? Standing boldly in My call on your life?”

Oh, the weight of my disobedience clothed in the mistrust of procrastination felt heavy on my heart.

With sadness I said “No, Lord. I am not.”

It took about one week from that morning to submit all my documentation to my web designer. It really was a simple task, trust and obey. It wasn’t easy though. The questions were still there. Doubt came in as quickly as God’s promises washed over me. Fear was there with every word I typed.

Obedience is not an easy road to walk. It is a road worth taking though. My website is complete and has already encouraged those who have seen it.

My prayer is that God uses me as His tool to bring encouragement to others and to be a blessing in their lives. As I allow God to use me He in turn encourages and blesses me.

Continually move forward in God’s process. Don’t reason disobedience.


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